Free
by Madame Butterfly
Summary: An RC told in Erik's point of view, with the Sarah Brightman song Free to back it up. The usual sap and such, written while I was asleep.


_**Free**_

_And do you still touch her like you do?_

_Kiss her all over in the way I kissed her?_

_And when you sleep with her, does she sometimes think of me?_

Three years, de Chagny. Three years since I sent you off with my blessing to be wed. I remember you holding her beautiful, dainty hand whilst you assisted her up your carriage. You go in and shut the door, which bore your family's crest. Does my memory deceive me, or was that a kiss I saw?

How is she? Has she gained weight? I do hope you feed her properly, de Chagny. I remember the days long gone, when she lived in fear and confusion, She was frightfully pale, thin mortal pallor on her face, dark foreboding shadows clouded her sweet blue eyes. Christ, she was beginning to resemble me! I hope she is fine now.

Is she happy, Raoul de Chagny? Or would have she been happier with me? Be quite honest.

Not if you love her in the way I see... 

Simple science states that opposites attract. We are no exception, Christine and I. She, child of the light and all that is good and wonderful, and I, spawn of the devil's wickedness. Nevertheless, I am inexplicable. My presence alone is enough to cause men to either back away, or, due to their own insecurities, threaten me, to prove something I cannot fathom to others or to themselves. In cases wherein one chooses to do the latter, I have a handy with me a little thing I call a Punjab lasso. You've had quite a few memorable encounters with it, haven't you? I'm sure you remember it.

_And then in the evening light, when the birds are free to fall..._

_I watch the two of you in the shadows on the wall..._

I watched you, de Chagny. I watched your moves, then saw how she would react. I saw everything I needed to know, everything I didn't want to know in her smile. She was so giddy and vibrant and talkative and full of life. There were times when she would jump up and wrap her arms around your neck. I only could have hoped... You set her aflame by pulling her into a kiss. You pulled her closer and deepened it... She welcomed you into her, responded zealously.

Christine did not see or hear from me for weeks after that. I was lightheaded and woozy as I hurriedly returned to my home. A snake of raw pain constricted itself around my poor heart, squeezing whatever life was still in it, slowly letting the painful truth seep through. She loves you and you love her. Not even the Angel of Music could change that.

Damn.

Oh, but that kiss... You did it just for spite, didn't you? That vigor, that blinding mad passion... It was as if you knew I was watching...

But... When Christine and I are together, I surrender myself to her and to the music. We become one. I lose the world. When we sing together, a rainbow of emotions radiate from out bodies, our voices. When our voices soar into the night... de Chagny, these are the moments I am proud to be myself. When she sings with me, I feel the rapture in her voice. When we finish, she looks at me with exhilarated eyes and a face flushed with joy and passion. "Oh Erik! That was beautiful!" she would swoon between breathes. "Play once more! Let us sing once again!" And I would happily oblige. We drained the good old operas, and even some of my own compositions. The music we made together met no end as we sang the hours away with songs of life and death, friendship, family... Love everlasting.

I love the music, I love our song, I love her. I feel a sense of joy, peace and enlightenment, a sort of power that makes me want to run and jump and scream. I see it in her eyes, her grin when she urges me to play more. The feeling is true, and pure, mutual. Sad to say, that, de Chagny, now that she is with you, never again shall such feelings be stirred inside her.

_And when the darkness steals some of the choices from my hand..._

_Then will I begin to understand...?_

When the pain does not overwhelm me, and when it does not cloud my mind, I think about it all, me, her. Just to let you know, de Chagny, I try to keep you out of the picture as often as I can. I ask. What if? What might have? What could? Oh, you twat, the great things that would have been, had you not shown!

There was nothing I could do to prevent things from happening the way they did. You came as her –ahem- "knight in shining armor", gallantly whisking her away to happily ever after.

I suppose... Well, let me be somewhat frank. I want Christine to live that fairytale. I love Christine, and with love, it be true, comes selflessness. One must always think of his beloved first. In retrospect, it would have been selfish and totally inconsiderate of me to keep her here, underground. Even though she was with me, I'm sure she would be extremely lonely. I'd much rather see her grow into a respected member of society, wise, dignified, and admired. I want what's best for her, even if it means that I am out of the picture. I'll be content just watching her blossom from afar.

In the setting wherein I go up into Christine's world, your world among people, I know I would be avoided at all costs. I am fine with that, for I will do anything to be with my love. But, oh Christine! Poor Christine! The things she will have to hear, the looks she will have to but up with! All because of her affiliation with me! I don't want to subject her to any more pain. She does not need to know such agony.

_I had to be free, had to be free_

_It's all that I wanted..._

_I wanted to see, wanted to be alone if I needed..._

For the sake of posterity and for your own knowledge, let me just state that I never liked you... You pompous, naïve boob... I could have ended your sorry, frivolous life with a mere flick of my wrist, had it not been for Christine's "affections" for you. Really de Chagny, you should give the girl a hug on of these days, thanking her for everything.

_I had to be free, had to be free from feelings that haunted..._

_I wanted to see, wanted to be..._

Please make her the happiest, Monsieur le Vicomte. Prove that you are worthy of her, treat her as she deserves. Keep her happy and safe, and sound. Give an old gentleman that piece of mind.

Oh, and before I forget. You yet have to see the extent of what I can do to you, if ever you are to cause her pain or hurt of any kind.

Before you call the officials on me, let me tell you now that I am not threatening you. I am merely ensuring the well-being of my beloved, Christine Daaé. Or is it Christine de Chagny now? Either way, I just want to make sure that everything is clear between the two of us, so no "apologies" will be said in the future. Do you understand?

_Free..._

She needs you, de Chagny. Take care of her.


End file.
